Yesterday morning I experienced a first: a bridal couple beautifully portrayed, in color, in the pages of the New York Times, that I actually know. (here) It was not exactly the usual High Society affair. More New Society.
The most notable aspect of the wedding is that the bride is Jessica Valenti , the young feminist author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut. For the record, her new husband Andrew Golis was my son Chase’s best friend in preschool. (The Times did not note this.)
So was the marriage a statement? “You come to a point where you give up on holding yourself to a perfect feminist ideal — it just feels stifling,” Ms. Valenti was quoted as saying. “You can say all you want about something, but then there’s the experience.”
In other words, no. They just fell in love.
And yet, statements are there to be read. Andrew, for example, is certainly stating that he has no problem with strong women.
Often when statements are made through weddings, they are statements that something is not so important. Money. Status. Looks. Religion. Politics. If I marry a rich woman I am not necessarily declaring that money is very important to me. But if I marry a poor woman I am certainly stating that money is not very important to me.
What, if anything, is so important that it trumps falling in love? Is there any kind of person you would not ever consider marrying?